38 BIG weeks update : aka everything you wanted to know about posterior positioned babies, broken tailbones, and my hormonal tirades.

So this is the first week off of work, and I thought the days would be dragging....the house is pretty much in order for baby. Well, let's be real, it is...but there is always laundry to be done, counters to be scrubbed, filing cabinets to organize. I am however, NOT missing work at all. This transition was alot easier than I thought it would be. 


Maybe because I am so baby-focused. 

I mean, how can I not be? He takes up all of my space, mentally, emotionally, physically. We had our 37 & 4 days appointment Monday and Dr. Ottenritter again discussed the fact we are big  (duh). 


We are also (at that time) almost 2 centimeters dilated and 70% effaced! Baby is definitely making moves in the downward direction. We had another growth ultrasound set, but I basically asked him point blank if he thought I was going to have trouble with a vaginal delivery. We again reaffirmed baby's largeness/my crippled ass tailbone/sunnysideupness and this general direction towards Csection being a viable option. He said we could plan that at 39 weeks, dependent on the ultrasound. (!!!!!!!!!!!!) Everything else looked great and we would talk again Monday after our growth ultrasound to make further determination about our game plan. 

So in between those days at the doctor and the ultrasound I did some research. I found out the following (direct from spinningbabies.com)

Graphic representation of why babies who are face-up have problems....YEAH. 


"

Possible posterior effects range from 

• Longer pregnancy 
• The amniotic sac breaking (water breaks, membranes open, rupture of membranes) before labor
• Start and stop labor pattern
• Longer early labor
• Longer active labor
• Longer pushing stage
• (Maybe a woman has all three phases of labor lengthened by the OP labor, or one or two of the three phases listed.)
• More use of vacuum or forceps
• More likely to tear
• Sometimes the baby's head gets stuck turned half way to anterior - in the transverse diameter. This can be called a transverse arrest. It is not a transverse lie
• More likely to need a cesarean (emphasis mine)

This website has been a great resource in terms of getting a better understanding about my ladybits and what can be done to manifest change. Their photography could stand to be updated a bit though, eh? As much as I do love my muu-muus!

Also this:

The best way to tell if your baby is OP or not, usually, is if you feel little wiggles in the abdomen right above your pubic bone - these are the fingers.They'd feel like little fingers wiggling, not like a big thunk or grinding from the head, though you might feel that, too.
The little fingers will be playing by the mouth. This is the easiest indication of OP. The wiggles will be centered in the middle of your lower abdomen, close to the pubic bone.

Well, this boy has been getting his wiggle on in that department for quite some time. I have done the pelvic tilts, the rocks, the cat-cow, sat backwards in chairs, etc...and unfortunately no change. 

I also did some research into midwife/doula blogs. I have a profound respect for the work midwives and doulas perform. I truly thought pre-all these current issues that I would want my next baby to be delivered with the support of one. Alot of great work has been done to provide women with a more holistic, drug free, intervention free birth and I wish I had a more straightforward pregnancy, because I feel like I could push this kiddo out with the quickness! 

Alas, what we are working with doesn't seem to really make that an option. I read some of the commentary/feedback on the doula blogs -- women who labored long and hard with no transition, no progress, terrible back labor, feeling of needing to push at an early stage which leads to cervical swelling, babies getting stuck in the birth canal/distress, having to be taken out via forceps/vacuum/third and fourth degree tears, OR emergency csections after it is all said and done. 

You can almost picture him in there with this wonderful artistic representation, right?

I also did some awesome reading on tailbone breaks and the ladies who have had them. It's an ugly thing, tailbone breaks, with not a lot of good news. You can try sacrum counter pressure and different types of epidurals...but the stories I found were for some smaller babies/less issues in terms of sunnyside up babies. Basically the stacks are kinda against us. As Roy Schumacher would say "dem's the breaks, kid". 

And goodness me, is he big. Niter came into town on Wednesday to accompany me to the ultrasound because Glenn is trying to conserve all his vacation time for when this chunker comes out. She always gets a kick out of seeing her grandbaby, and I am thankful for her support!

We had another nice tech who was quite chatty, and willing to bust out the 3d machine! She seemed really excited about his position (SUPER POSTERIOR WAVING AT US BASICALLY) because normally "babies this far along you can't see at all". Thank heavens for small (or in this case, large) treasures!

Of course he is super cramped in there and so pictures were a bit wonky but seeing him live in action was pretty great. He still has beautiful lips and was practice breathing and sucking in there, making kiss faces. It was pretty spectacular to witness. 

And yes, his cheeks have not gone down in size. 

So here we are at 38 weeks on the dot: the stats!

          - he is in the 95% (up from 89% at our 36 week ultrasound)

          - his head/limbs and pretty much everything is measuring at 40 weeks+ (except for   his thighbones. She said it was hard to get an accurate picture/measurement of them because he is so cramped in there. They were measuring 37 weeks 4 days

          - Averaged all together, he is currently growing a week and a half ahead (39 weeks 3 daysish)

          - His weight guesstimate for the week is 8 POUNDS 9 OUNCES. This means from 36 weeks he has gained a pound and 9 ounces per measurements. So if he continues at that range, I'm guessing "fully full full full term/40 weeks" he could equal out to around ohhhhh 10.125 pounds. I  DO KNOW that ultrasounds are notoriously off, but given their "1 pound either way" rule, he is still quite possible damn near 8 lbs right now and likely to keep growing. Or Jesus Christ on a bike he could be damn near 10 lbs (!!!)

         - His "estimated due date by size" is May 15th per measurements (incidentally this stayed the same since week 36

(Growth ultrasound from week 36 shown for reference)

Sooooooooo it's not all entirely shocking, new news. He's big, we know he's big, and we also know he is sunnyside up. As soon as they told me the info was sent to the doctor's office I tried to get in touch to talk (read: somebody validate the crazy hormonal feelings I have about "giving up" on thoughts of a vaginal delivery) but was unable to speak with the doc because he was with patients. Trust and believe I will call again tomorrow morning. 

I also rang my chiropractor. When I came in for that horrendous pelvic girdle pain (which is back, hi there, I missed you!) he showed alot of concern about my previous tailbone break and what my doctors intended to do during labor. I called a bit late in the afternoon and was unable to get to speak with them either, so will have that on my list to ring tomorrow as well. 

What the chiropractor had mentioned, and my research has shown, is that normal tailbones have a bit of a wobble to them. When a tailbone is broken it has no real way to heal as there is not any way to "set" it. We are always moving, getting up, sitting down (or trying to), etc. So the bone essentially "fuses" into one place when (after months of pain, positioning and screwing the rest of your back/hips up trying to get comfortable) it "heals".

Greatest medical art EVER?!

Ouch is right, lady! I feel your pain!

 Because they generally frown upon x-raying the lower extremities of ladies ( word is it hinders the ability to harvest eggs to grow future ginormo babies) I didn't get any images of my buttbone back in the day.  The Dr. pretty much affirmed that they heal and fuse in any pattern they chose (to the left, to the right, to the back...wait a minute, this isn't DJ Casper up in here...)

take it back now, ya'll

So given this info, kiddo's head would act like a battering ram, descending through the canal towards life like the tough guy that he is, ultimately smooshing that beautiful face up against my ladyparts in the wrong direction, and crushing through my tailbone. (insert here 6 months of being unable to sit down or do anything similar to sitting down, or moving, or being comfortable). 

Shall we rejoice in the name of all things holy and bless the technology that is the cesarean? 

I have as mentioned, a number of AWESOME and supportive friends, who have been there for me throughout this pregnancy.... I have also sought out some guidance from ladies who have had csections (none elected) to get more of a grasp on their experience. A number of them talked about feeling guilty, as if it were "wrong" their little ones were brought in the world in a non-vaginal means, as if it were a failure...and I totally sympathize with where they are coming from. 

I have stated it a bazillion times, and I know everyone is sick of hearing it - but I really went into this thinking I could work my hardest to have a natural delivery. Giving that dream up, mourning that idea of letting things progress naturally, feeling like you have failed or let down your baby or your family is an awful feeling.  And it's unfair. Society is way too hard on  pregnant women as it is - I know in my bones that so long as the baby comes out healthy that I will be healthy. But I'll be damned if it doesn't make me feel guilt ridden to potentially "elect" to have this done. 

Studies have shown that elected cesareans have alot less trauma to mom AND baby, as well as greater recovery times and less complications. Part of me wanted to let labor just happen, but if that means distress to baby, or more issues arising, why go that course? 

sweet Jesus give us a sign

I am turbo aware that a cesarean is not a papercut. It's a major surgery that is painful, and full of risks and potential complications. It's not a walk in a park or an easy way out for anyone. I'd still have a lot of healing to do, and would need support. 

But in my mind, 8 weeks of incision care versus 4-6 months of CHRONIC pain and inability to function in normal day to day manners while caring for a newborn, breastfeeding and trying to get the swing of cloth diapering...it's kinda looking like a more viable option. 

I know hormones are going awry at this point too, so that certainly is playing a part...but I really wish I could get some sort of sign or validation that this is the right way to go and I'll have no regrets. Regardless of what comes down, the baby will be born and I'll be so thankful and busy I won't have time to care or reflect, right? RIGHT. 

Stretch marks? Well the bastards that showed their ugly faces are still around, BUT they didn't bring any of their cousinsndem so I am pretty happy
Sleep: Is HOT. Night sweats, anyone? Also, sporadic at best. Insomnia is in full force now that I am off work and can sleep in a bit. Turning over is getting super duper painful, and having alot of lower back pain as of late has made getting comfortable damn near impossible. WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE. Oh well, 2ish more weeks, right?
Best moment this week: Seeing that little butterball, squishyfaced little love on the ultrasound making kiss faces....I can't get over his lips and can't wait to smooch them!
Miss Anything? My equilibrium? I just keep getting bigger and bigger and it is hard to get around in tight spaces/my kitchen when both Glenn and my mom are in there trying to cook and I need to reach over to get a glass of water. Seriously, I am huge and my frame of space is out of control. 

Movement: Still moving around alot, which again makes me feel like I won't "go" as quick as people are guessing. I read that posterior babies with their big heads don't descend as quick so maybe that's why I am feeling him so much. I still love it and it gives me a good feeling to know he's doing well in there.  
Food cravings: fruit and chocolate and fruit with a side of chocolateAnything making you queasy or sick: Not sick per se, but definitely noticing the subtle pains of oncoming baby-is-ready-to-evacuatenessGender: Boy! It was hilarious because our ultrasound tech was ALL ABOUT showing us his little ween and taking 3d images of his ballsack. I am sure he will treasure these forever.
 Labor Signs: Alas, noticing more of what I think are Braxton Hicks, or just him kicking me really hard or jutting out....probably Braxton Hicks thoguh. Symptoms: Back pain, boob pain, pelvic girdle pain, sense of anxiousness/fear/guilt.  But I am still hobbling around with the best of them and trying to keep up some semblance of a cheery disposition!

Belly Button in or out? Officially at its flattest and weirdest.
Wedding rings on or off? On! Three cheers for no swelling yet in these late stages
Happy or Moody most of the time: Very happy - I have a great support system, Glenn and my mom and I have been pretty busy this week with last minute prep, and have enjoyed fabulous dinners each night and shared lots of laughs and moments to destress before baby comes. They are fabulous, fabulous people for calming me down, lifting my spirits, and telling me everything will be okay. That and the texts, emails, IG/facebook/twitter love have really really helped me overcome moments of sheer hormonal freakouts.
Looking forward to: Talking to all these doctors, formulating an official birth plan, wrapping things up on the homefront, relaxing and enjoying my family, and of course MOTHER'S DAY! Niter thinks this is a great day to have her grandbaby. Glenn is also pro, for reasons below:

He's hilarious. Another reason I married him!

Here's hoping our next update will still be at 39 weeks, baby will still keep growing, and I will feel validated in making sound decisions about how to progress with labor! 

As always - thanks for reading and for feedback! CHEERS, IT'S ALMOST TIME!

also cheers to continuation of no pants until Baby day

37 weeks pregnant - THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

It feels surreal, but we are finally at the crescendo of big baby bumpness : FULL TERM! Having hit 37 weeks, I still feel pretty much the same as 36 weeks and prior....I've been really lucky to feel so good this whole pregnancy. One thing is for sure, I am definitely getting bigger - although I don't feel like baby has "dropped" into my pelvis yet. 

People on the interwebs (Instagram and Facebook, namely) have said that he has dropped, but really I just feel as ginormo as ever!

I have been able to keep up with working out, doing some Jillian and taking long walks (4 miles, a new record this week!) and doing some pilates. I did a quick scan of my workout productivity tracker since I had my heart rate monitor (since 23 weeks) and I have had 41 decent workouts in 12 weeks. I feel pretty proud of how far I've made it, and how much I can kick ass at Jillian 9 months + pregnant. It's sad that I think I am better at Shedding and Shredding this year versus last year...how is that even possible? The pregnant body is an amazing thing.

This past week was pretty special, my daddy came to visit from NY! After a bit of a tussle getting down here (he has no phone, and made a wrong exit in Breezewood and had no mechanism to get in touch *insert annoyance here*) it was great to see him and show off this bump -- I'm his only daughter and it meant something to me to have him see me all huge and preggo before he meets his first grandbaby!

We had the family come over for some barbeque and to see the baby's room as it nears final completion (JUST NEED THE CURTAINS UP BUT THEY ARE BEING WORKED ON!!!!) :D

Meredith and I made sure to take a quick picture , as this is likely the last time we will be pregnant at the same time! Cheers for 2012, it is going to be blessed with beautiful babies!

Grandma Niter filled out some sweetness in the babybook whilst chilling surrounded by her craftiness! Stay tuned for our Etsy shop in a few months. (Seriously)


We also knocked some of the last items remaining on our baby-to-do list. I got my replacement kit for my breast pump in the mail (YAY), made some plans for baby's take home outfit (it's adorable) and met with the pediatrician!

Since I haven't done an SIWWP in a bit -- I thought I would wear my Wrangler self-made lesbian biker vest to the doctor's office. Big hit. 


The pediatrician is about 2 miles away from us, and was suggested to us by a friend (Thanks, Carrie!) I really liked the doctor we met, who is also a lactation consultant, which will help tremendously should we need assistance in the boobs department. 


On Monday I went back to the Doctor -- this is my last appointment while still working. I haven't bitched much about it here (surprisingly enough, with as much as I like to complain sometimes) but my visits have been a real pain in the ass as of late. Emphasis on late. Because I have seen the same Dr., who has late appointments on Mondays, and because my job only allows me to really take late appointments without being penalized with some arbitrary "make up time" I have been stuck having to take the latest appointments possible.  This appointment was at 3:15 and I didn't get seen til 5:00PM. For a 3:15 appointment I have to leave at 2:30 at the very latest to get there on time. 


I understand that there are emergencies, and Mondays are busy, and whatnot...but having to wait upwards of 2 hours to be seen for LITERALLY 10 minutes tops is quite frustrating and mentally draining. This week was jam-packed with bull shittery and prep work for client transitions, conference calls, on top of 7 events and trainings....I AIN'T GOT TIME TO WASTE, DOC! Anyway, vent over. 

pictured : shit to do

I didn't get to have a sincere heart to heart in that 10 minutes I was seen, so I don't really have a solid game plan as to where we are with this ginormo baby, and what my odds really are. 


The only real things known this week are:


1. He's still ginormous
2. At 36 weeks, 4 days I measured 38 weeks, still
3. My pelvis is "adequate" aka not too narrow to allow for a "normal" childbirth...
4. My current "normal" isn't ideal with tailbone, sunnyside, etc
5. I am still 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, so no change there
6. Another growth ultrasound is scheduled for 38 weeks, and more discussions will be made


I broached some csection talk (in minutes 8:30 of 10 spent with the Doc) and determined the following:


1. I can go into labor naturally and they won't suggest induction unless something crazy develops at the next ultrasound
2. If I get to the hospital and baby is in distress/gets stuck/tailbone feels too wonky I can elect for a csection at any time
3. The surgery should be quick and I should supposedly be able to nurse and hold him immediately afterward (this I am not so convinced about)


So, there we have it kids! I'm just in a holding pattern and living life like we're golden. 


I managed to get a super sweet action video of Baby Boy moving and grooving in my belly. (Full disclosure, we had been listening to Weezy)


Since it is connected to Facebook, you'd need to be logged in but can see him in all his glory here:


Baby Lovelace dance party

A number of people have been making guesses on when he will grace us with his ginormous presence so we made "JFF/justforfun" shits & gigs baby pool which can be found here:


How big is Baby Boy Lovelace?

So go get your guessing on, dear readers! I am getting a kick out your suggestions...especially the names! First one to say 10 lbs. gets a side-eye though.

serious face is very serious

How far along? 37 Weeks, hubba hubba!

Total weight gain: A solid and sturdy (Good German Stock) 33.3 lbs
Maternity clothes? NO. I declared this week #teamdress #nopants week. The emancipation/epantsimation week where we veto all things covering our legs. WHY? Just because. I don't think it will become a trending topic on the twitter anytime soon but I did buy 4 dresses from my favorite consignment store and have rocked them all week. Sorry for dumb faces. I look especially miserable in the morning. 

Sweet baby blue sundress for my work shower, where baby got spoiled!

this darling red number, again with favorite stripes, for a sweet $6

let's try to be mellow-yellow...and my favorite blue wedges

and more sweet stripes and 90's "Limited" dresses

Stretch marks? Still have some guys chilling down here...light and purpley. Still hoping they don't decide to multiply/bring a gang of their red friends
Sleep: Is random. Some nights I get about 3 hours it seems..others I can pass out at 9PM, and wake up at 5 and then get another 45 minutes or so before waking up for work. My legs still get heavy/feel like bricks/cramp from being in one position for too long, but I have been getting up frequently to pee so that helps the situation. Excited for next week, being off and not having to wake up a certain time!
Best moment this week: spending time with my lovely family, and counting down the final days of work....especially thankful for a supportive team and some awesome friends I have made at the World of Webinars who made this transition more comfortable and put up with my hormones for these past 90 bajillion months. 
Miss Anything? My pelvic bones not hurting...and my lower back not being as tender...and all these little hurts and pangs of pressure that have suddenly made themselves known. But these are all good signs so I'm happy!
Movement: Per the above sweet video, kid is still kickin up a storm. This is another reason I don't feel like he is "dropped" enough or ready to make his appearance soon! My belly is so large though that my legs splay out when sitting down, and it's like the kid is fully on my lap. It's weird to feel him kick as high as my boobs yet feel his arms (or something) moving down below patting my lap. 

Food cravings: Smoothies, fruit, pineapple, strawberries. MMMMMM.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Some nights, especially on days I have worked out I have noticed I feel a bit period-crampy....nothing too crucial but some pings and pangs that seem semi familiar in that variety.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: Alas, none that I can tell. Blood pressure and protein levels are all still fabulous as well. 
Symptoms: Overall pretty fantastic....hips/lowerback soreness here and there. Kendra says I sound like an old man when I get up...it does take me longer to get up but I think that's because I am having some pelvic pain again...She also made fun of my underwear the other day (because they showed through my dress). I have officially given up on caring about pantylines...is that a symptom? Seriously, the size of these huge granny panties..... I can't wait to pack those suckers away. Hanes, not so much my way. Or Hanes, get out of my way. 

Belly Button in or out? flat and weird, flat and weird. My boobs are also still flat, in case anyone is keeping track at home.
Wedding rings on or off? On! Every week I keep waiting to swell. Still doing pretty okay in that frnt. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: Very happy! This is the last week of work and I'm full term, so what is there NOT to be happy about??
Looking forward to: Rest and Relaxationville....where I will continue team #nopants.....because I will likely be laid up in the house in my granny panties, straight lounging watching Dr. Phil and balancing red raspberry leaf tea on this bump for the duration...until Mr. Ginormo child makes his debut!


Cheers to (potentially) 3 more weeks of golden pregnancy bliss. Keep sending us those good vibes!

36 BIG weeks pregnant

Oh boy....oh, big big  beautiful baby boy. What a week we've had! Week 36 has brought us into our 9th month, and officially 4 weeks until go time. With that, we had our first weekly appointment!. I have felt that I have been growing out of control these past few weeks (well, since week 34) so I was really amped to see the Doctor I prefer and get some feedback on how he thought I was doing. 

As soon as he walked in he said he could tell I was bigger. Just how much bigger?

If you guessed that I was measuring 2 weeks ahead again, then you win a magical prize, dear reader. 36 weeks and measuring in at a solid 38!!!! I'm taking this as us being "full term" a week early. 

Yessir, Mr. Ginormo man is still packing on the pounds and growing like a champ. I am VERY thankful for his health, but am of course fearful given his large size. 

The Doctor said I looked "stunning" otherwise and that he was really anxious to get the results of the growth ultrasound. I shared with him my broken tailbone woes and the fact he is sunny side up and he made the ick face ... it looks a little something like this:

He said he doesn't know how women do it...that he has heard their tailbones pop during labor.....COOL STORY BRO. He was very jovial in telling me that I could expect it to happen again (GREAT) and that I would be clutching a donut pillow again for another 12 weeks or so. 

Fun backstory: I broke my tailbone slipping on ice in the great state of New York (Western NY that is, land of snow and snow and more snow, and also chicken wings). I was walking to school in 8th grade and turned sharply on black ice and my feet literally went over my head and I landed directly on my tailbone, brought down by the weight of ALL of my textbooks in my backpack. (Why did we carry all of our heavy textbooks home?!) It hurt so bad that at first I was stunned and couldn't get up...the school buses conveniently were driving by and I later learned people thought I got hit by a car. I hobbled to school and tried to "walk it off" but soon realized in 1st period Spanish class that I could not.sit.down. At all. It was excruciatingly painful and I had to call my mom to come get me...I lay horizontally in the backseat of the car while she drove me to the doctor, who incidentally was a (male) family friend. I had to bare my teen-aged ass while he pressed on it and I jumped away from his touch like a stuck pig. Indeed it was broken.  I ended up carrying around a donut, affectionately called "buddy" short for "butt buddy" for a solid 4 months before I felt well enough to sit on a hard surface like a normal human being. It did numbers for my popularity and I'm pretty sure that's why I went on to become homecoming queen. 

Me and my Lou at homecoming! (not pictured but implied : broken ass)

Long story short, the recovery was ugly, and long, and it made day to day things like sitting comfortably, having a bowel movement or using a tampon super painful. 

So let's fast forward 10+ years and a pregnancy with a large baby who is sunny side up. Everyone I know who has had a child in this position had long, painful labors (some of which lead to c-sections). That coupled with this broken tailbone noise and I am shook!

The day after the Dr's appointment was our growth ultrasound. Having done some research from friends who had big babies with epidurals I knew that it could be done...but I really needed some numbers, stats, and empirical data to rationalize this all in my head. 

Excited for some news!

We went to get our scan at exactly 36 weeks per the Doctor's orders...and whaddyaknow....there's a biggun in there! We had a great tech who was very thorough (thank God) who answered every question we threw her way. She verified his largeness, and noted that I do NOT have extra amniotic fluid (which I was sorta hoping for, giving the size issues of late). She measured his femur bones, head (length and width) and his belly.

At 36 weeks gestational age our "little" guy is right around 38 weeks size-wise and a comfy 7 pounds. 

(insert freakout here)

At 36 weeks babies should on average be around 5.8 pounds. She was kind enough to remind me they gain up to a pound a week which would put him in the 9-11 pound range at 40 weeks. 

Bless this child's heart...and his large head...he is giving Mama an anxiety attack!

He's mighty pudgey in there! Get a load of those cheekers. All the better to smooch you with, my dear. 

So now that we know he is big, I was hoping I would feel better ... because we have some decisions to make. I am going to have to get really real here. Shit is about to happen and he could come at any time. (The Ultrasound tech said while my due date is May 24th, she would guess him to come around May 15th) While hypnobabies has been really great in terms of reducing anxiety for me, I no longer think I can self administer some anesthesia by way of my big brainparts. (Large heads run in this family apparently). 

The only things I do know I want are to fall into labor naturally as good, sweet Mother Nature intended. From there, I want to labor at home for as long as possible. When we do make it to the hospital I want to have all of our options outlined....an epidural is looking more and more likely. 

This is all in my head for right now...I am antsy to talk to my doctor on Monday when I will be 36 weeks 4 days. He definitely said at the last appointment that a c-section was a viable option that I could "elect" at any time, although they would want me to go into labor naturally. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THERE'S THAT. 

I know, I know...you'd think it was twins

My darling BFF and favorite baby mama, Erin,  passed along some links in relation to people in similar circumstances. This one was especially helpful. 

I know the pain of a broken tailbone. It is not something I'd wish upon my least favorite clients. Yes, even the ones who berate me on the phone and overuse the capslocks key. I cannot imagine not being able to sit again for 4 months + (on top of potentially tearing/epipisiotomy?) and trying to breastfeed a baby. I don't want to not be able to sit in the glider and nurse him comfortably. I don't want to "try" for a vaginal labor and blow through my tailbone, get cut, have him potentially get stuck and have to go for a c-section on TOP of that either. Can you imagine a labor worse than tearing, having an incision and not being able to sit down after it's all said and done? I will be home by myself for a good bit...Grandma Niter has graciously offered her assistance...and I know no matter what the outcome I will need support. I don't want to fault myself for "failing" at delivering as naturally as possible. I also don't want to be in constant pain the first few months of his life either. I wouldn't be doing my best duties as a mother if I am in chronic pain and can't concentrate on his needs. And until you've broken your tailbone and can only get by sitting on a donut, you can't imagine the pain. 

Part of me feels that as much as I've worked out, tried to stay emotionally healthy, meditated, hypnobirthed, Ina-Mae'd and just tried to be as positive as possible that I am DESTINED on a one way ticket to c-sectiontown. 

drop, droppin like he's hot. 

The Doctor also said that at 36 weeks I am ALREADY 1 centimeter dialated and 50% effaced. Things are happening. Women can walk around dialated for weeks with no change, so I am not taking this as him coming tomorrow, but it's nice to know that after these long months of cervical drama that she is doing her job so far! Good job, champ. 

Alot is happening fast. I am now on my 2nd to last week of work. I have been tasked to transition a ton of clients to my team, and am still on events and trainings....needless to say it has been stressful and I feel like a huge burden to my colleagues. I have had one or several crying jags just trying to wrap my brain around the enormity of what all needs done before I leave on May 4th. My lists are seemingly endless and I have stayed late a few nights (much to the chagrin of my mom and husband who don't like the idea of their 9 months pregnant daughter/wife working until 8PM) but I really have no way of getting EVERYTHING done that I need to. 

hi-lighting things in pink makes them easier to accomplish. maybe. 

My house is in tip top shape, bags are packed and everything is set up for baby to come, but I cannot get caught up on transitioning/creating client documentation (an hour for each client x 10-20 clients) and still handle the day to day affairs of client support, billing, events and training. I've begged Jesus to take the wheel approximately 38 times a day, and have pondered whether or not a glass or bottle of wine would hurt ginormo baby at this time. (KIDDING). I am only human, and I may be a hormonal beast at that, but it will somehow all get done. 

I also quit the fancy gym this week, so I won't be inundating Instragram with awkward mirror pictures anymore. 

follow me @Leahlovelace...if you're into that type of shit. 

I will really really really miss the rich folks gym and all the amenities it provided...but for a SAHM living on one income, it is just not feasible. So long, tan 40 year old soccer moms and weird Asian ladies who dry their pubic muffs with the public hair dryers! 

I did enjoy some long walks (around the cul de sac) and did some Jillian and pilates this week...and if it weren't for having to stay late so much I think I could've worked out every day! Hope to keep this type of activity up for the long haul. 

How far along? Officially 36 weeks at the time of this post 

Total weight gain: Right around 32 big bad, ell bees
Maternity clothes? The shirt I wore today my stomach was falling out of on the bottom and you guessed it, it was maternity. Da hell?
Stretch marks? Sadly yes. I have shown them to a few people and the consensus is from those who have seen them in person that they look like veins?! Those who I have sent pictures of (yes I have stretch mark support from all the way to Buffalo and Las Vegas) seem to think they're legit. They're still pale purple, and low and JESUS CHRIST I AM MEASURING HUGE SO CUT ME SOME SLACK HERE
Sleep: I have been passing out on the couch anywhere from 9PM to Midnight, and waking up usually around 2AM to get the cramps out of my legs, hydrate, pee and try to sleep again...this is a cycle until 3 or 5AM when I make it up to the bed. I have to have such a fortress of pillows right now that it isn't feasible for me to try to squench into our not-even-queen-size bed with Glenn in it. I toss and turn and am up and down all night and it's disruptive to Glenn. At least one of us should get some adequate sleep, no?
Best moment this week: Glad to finally have these weekly appointments and know where we are at...size, dilation and effacement wise! There is safety in knowledge...once I figure out how to apply it. Also, my brother and sister and law announced they are having a baby girl, so I will have a NIECE in a few months!! 2012 is crazy for babies and my gender prediction talent is still SPOT ON! EXCITED!!
Miss Anything? my stretch mark free belly? Vanity aside, I am pre-mourning the loss of my social life....won't be able to spring for lunch with the ladies and gay lads at the drop of a hat anymore. But it's going to be worth it, this baby boy will be keeping me plenty busy and hopefully people don't forget Glenn and I exist and come visit us! 
Movement: Goodness lord, yes. The day of my Dr's appointment he was turbo active...I wondered if maybe the exam caused contractions that pissed him off in there? I am feeling weird tingles and pressure and just alot of general "girth" in there. 
Food cravings: PINEAPPLE. And carrots and chocolate but that's nothing new.
Anything making you queasy or sick: I can't go too long without eating/drinking something. I thought I was going to kirk out/pass out at Panera today when the line took approximately 18 minutes to get through. Must. stay. hydrated.
Gender: Ginormo boy
Labor Signs: None officially....I don't have a "feeling" I will get them any time soon...and I am perfectly okay with that! 
Symptoms: My belly button area is itchy and that can be annoying...still leg cramps at night..and the pain in ye old pelvic bones is somewhat back, but much much more tolerable than in months past.
Belly Button in or out? Awkward and flat
Wedding rings on or off? Still on, son!
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy most of the time! Glad to have got some knowledge dropped on our proverbial asses this week...I think the last week of work will help my mental stability tremendously! 
Looking forward to: Wrapping things up at the World of Webinars next week, and seeing my Daddy this weekend! Grandpa Roy is coming to town! 

Hopefully we will still be pregnant for a few more weeks so  YALL COME BACK NOW HEAR!?