Salvation through technology: On being one's own advocate

I am neurotic to a fault. I like having control and hate waiting. Being frustrated with these weeks of waiting and lack of diagnostics during our initial prenatal visit, Glenn and I purchased the Sonoline B fetal doppler at around 8 weeks.

It's a handy little doppler that comes with gel and is basically a $50.00 plastic piece of mind. I have been trying fruitlessly since 8 weeks 2 days to get a heart beat. (Doctors tell you it's difficult to hear the heartbeat before 12 weeks)

I can find my own heart beat, and would hear the "woosh woosh" of my placenta/cord(?) but couldn't get the actual baby's heartbeat. Upon research I knew it should sound faster than mine (anything 125 and under is mom), and should sound like a train or galloping horses . I would start right above pubic line and move left to right (weeks this early in the first trimester the baby sits very low behind your pubic bone). Well after a week and a half of trying, I finally got the lil bugger!

There is indeed a baby Lovelace growing in there! Words cannot express how happy this makes me, and the feeling of reassurance that all these symptoms and feelings I have are not for naught.  I had to go wake Glenn up to have him listen....he was delirious but excited! So high on baby love right now! 




Without further ado: Baby Lovelace at 9 weeks 4 (well, 5 at midnight) days:

give me a 5, 6, 7, 8....

This is amazing to me and gives me faith!

(weeks 5ish to 8wks 3 days) 

cue jazz drums..and a 5, 6, 7, 8 (click to enlarge)

First official cravings & obligatory belly shots

Today was a bit of a trying day, after the high of this weekend's socializing. I learned a high school classmate had passed away unexpectedly and was feeling pretty bummy on an otherwise beautiful Sunday afternoon. After some quality couch time I decided to do something with this day, and satisfied one of my current cravings -- oatmeal chocolate chip cookies!

The good thing about cookies is that they taste great with milk, so I have been quenching that calcium thirst all day. Delicious!

And without further ado, peep my weekly growth ya'll:

hooray new yoga pants!

grow baby, grow!

do I look pregnant yet? 8 Weeks - 3 Days!

This week, other than feeling hormonal my boobs (albeit small looking here) have been really achey and feeling heavier. When I hug people the pressure hurts. I've been waiting 28 years to have boobs, I hope we get that C cup! I also have been having alot of dull headaches that come off and on, and some vivid dreams and now obviously....cravings. Delicious!

Bearing of good news - my social life still exists! (8 weeks pregnant update)

After much consideration and fatigue from being MIA and making up stories, we decided to share the news with our football team. At least this way they could look to pick up another girl for the team, or better determine subs from here on out. Everyone was overjoyed and excited for us, which is a nice feeling after sitting in 8 weeks of silence! I can cross that stressor off my list. The girls are super enthusiastic about the baby - I am looking forward to them sharing their own baby tales, and giving me hand me downs. Yay free stuff!

We also went to a good friend's birthday party and gave the heads up to some other dear friends. We are kinda the "first" of this group to be pregnant so it was fun to hear all of the different people's reactions. Everyone is really nice to you when you're pregnant. Especially drunk people, I've since found out!

the birthday boy and a bunch of delicious treats

my big dumb toytle friend who will totally come to my baby shower

Pretty Shineza

I especially love "straight guy" questions and concerns about pregnancy. It's like I am a science experiment in action and they are quizzical about everything. It is actually quite endearing. The women folk mostly tend to be very protective and affectionate. I do love attention, so being pregnant and being open about it rules. Kidding about the attention part. Kidding about not kidding. 

While we didn't wait the 12 weeks to share the news with alot of our friends, I am still being very optimistic and figure the good juju of other's happiness and excitement for us can't be a bad thing. One thing I do know, Baby Lovelace is already loved. 

8 weeks & counting...frustrations aplenty

So we had our first "official" prenatal visit. If you can call it much of a visit. I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up for any bells and whistles, but I left feeling like the entire process was super structured and cold. We met with a nurse practitioner who didn't really answer any of my questions "they will get to that at your 12 week appointment" and basically gave me a brief pap smear "your uterus seems to be at the 6-8 week mark size wise", some pamphlets and a referral for blood tests and a sonogram and sent me on my merry way. 

When we asked about viability she basically told me that if I had peed on sticks that said I was pregnant I was pregnant and to wait for my "dating ultrasound" at 10 weeks. Not something a 1st time high-anxiety ridden mom wants to hear. That coupled with my knowledge of the ability to hear a heartbeat at 6 weeks, (countless friends have had ultrasounds from 5 weeks on),  and the fact that these different practices pick a random arbitrary date out of their ass to determine if/when an ultrasound could be done really grinded my hormonal gears. I don't know why I was so upset (yes I do, I am neurotic & hormonal), but I basically cried from the time we left the appointment to the time we got home. If there's one thing I hate in life it's not KNOWING something or being able to PLAN for something. I am a planner by trade (well, job) and feel a comfort in knowing the reasons and order for things. While the NP so gleefully said, "oh 2 and a half weeks will fly right by!"  I wanted to cut the bitch. The whole experience didn't leave me with warm fuzzies. I felt like I was a pregnant cow, just being herded through the motions. Not that I wanted glitter and rainbows, but sentimentality of the experience was completely stricken. 

It's taken me a few days to get out of this funk, which is why I hadn't updated in some time. I have alot of great friends who were of a huge help in making me relax and take it easy on myself and this baby. I have to accept that I don't know whether or not everything is okay, and will simply have to wait these arbitrary 2.5 weeks until the ultrasound, as much as it feels like every fiber of my being is white hot in frustration. I just can't imagine that with our technological advances we can't give some sort of "breathe easy" standardized treatment. I am aware that some early ultrasounds are only for high-risk pregnancies....but in all honestly, all pregnancies should be "high risk" until we know otherwise, yes? They all essentially start out the same - so what is the harm in helping a person relax?

Off of that soap box -- special shout out to Alexis, who sent me a very thoughtful gift in the mail Mama to Be Tea! It was so unexpected and appreciated! Glenn retrieved the package at the door and was all "what'd you order from Amazon now?!" Upon opening the box I burst into hormonal (but happy!) tears.  I have tried 2 of the varieties in the sampler and both are fantastic! Since I have not been drinking coffee, I have looked to these warm beverages as a special treat. 

Last week I went to visit my mom in West Virginia to take part in some fall festivals and to see my grandparents, but previous to that Glenn and I went to see the Tuneyards. It was pretty much the greatest live band experience I have ever seen. Glenn got to drink some delicious Natty Boh's and I got a requisite band shirt because I am a nerd. 

no flash - no problem

We ended up having beautiful weather all weekend long, and Grandma, Mom and I did some crucial shopping at lawn sales and the Colorfest and Apple Butter Festival. Alot of quality eating was done as well. 

once we finally found eachother in a sea of thousands

Papa Howie, 89 years young!

Dancing at the Troubadour!

We went to one yard sale where the woman had a bunch of baby clothes and furnishings and made out like bandits. I have no shame in buying used things, especially because so much of what you need for a child they grow out of ASAP and it can be expensive if bought outright. So long as items are clean and well taken care of I am totally pro. So totally like...green of me. Ha! In any event we got a bouncy chair, a bunch of unisex (read: yellow and white) sleepers and some boppy covers. We were quite pleased with ourselves. My grandma is also already working on an afghan!