When we asked about viability she basically told me that if I had peed on sticks that said I was pregnant I was pregnant and to wait for my "dating ultrasound" at 10 weeks. Not something a 1st time high-anxiety ridden mom wants to hear. That coupled with my knowledge of the ability to hear a heartbeat at 6 weeks, (countless friends have had ultrasounds from 5 weeks on), and the fact that these different practices pick a random arbitrary date out of their ass to determine if/when an ultrasound could be done really grinded my hormonal gears. I don't know why I was so upset (yes I do, I am neurotic & hormonal), but I basically cried from the time we left the appointment to the time we got home. If there's one thing I hate in life it's not KNOWING something or being able to PLAN for something. I am a planner by trade (well, job) and feel a comfort in knowing the reasons and order for things. While the NP so gleefully said, "oh 2 and a half weeks will fly right by!" I wanted to cut the bitch. The whole experience didn't leave me with warm fuzzies. I felt like I was a pregnant cow, just being herded through the motions. Not that I wanted glitter and rainbows, but sentimentality of the experience was completely stricken.
It's taken me a few days to get out of this funk, which is why I hadn't updated in some time. I have alot of great friends who were of a huge help in making me relax and take it easy on myself and this baby. I have to accept that I don't know whether or not everything is okay, and will simply have to wait these arbitrary 2.5 weeks until the ultrasound, as much as it feels like every fiber of my being is white hot in frustration. I just can't imagine that with our technological advances we can't give some sort of "breathe easy" standardized treatment. I am aware that some early ultrasounds are only for high-risk pregnancies....but in all honestly, all pregnancies should be "high risk" until we know otherwise, yes? They all essentially start out the same - so what is the harm in helping a person relax?
Off of that soap box -- special shout out to Alexis, who sent me a very thoughtful gift in the mail Mama to Be Tea! It was so unexpected and appreciated! Glenn retrieved the package at the door and was all "what'd you order from Amazon now?!" Upon opening the box I burst into hormonal (but happy!) tears. I have tried 2 of the varieties in the sampler and both are fantastic! Since I have not been drinking coffee, I have looked to these warm beverages as a special treat.
Last week I went to visit my mom in West Virginia to take part in some fall festivals and to see my grandparents, but previous to that Glenn and I went to see the Tuneyards. It was pretty much the greatest live band experience I have ever seen. Glenn got to drink some delicious Natty Boh's and I got a requisite band shirt because I am a nerd.
|no flash - no problem|
We ended up having beautiful weather all weekend long, and Grandma, Mom and I did some crucial shopping at lawn sales and the Colorfest and Apple Butter Festival. Alot of quality eating was done as well.
We went to one yard sale where the woman had a bunch of baby clothes and furnishings and made out like bandits. I have no shame in buying used things, especially because so much of what you need for a child they grow out of ASAP and it can be expensive if bought outright. So long as items are clean and well taken care of I am totally pro. So totally like...green of me. Ha! In any event we got a bouncy chair, a bunch of unisex (read: yellow and white) sleepers and some boppy covers. We were quite pleased with ourselves. My grandma is also already working on an afghan!
|once we finally found eachother in a sea of thousands|
|Papa Howie, 89 years young!|
|Dancing at the Troubadour!|